No news is good news; so news today must equal...

It's not often that I sit down and blog.  As a matter of fact in the 2.5 years that we've been in this adoption process I'm not sure how many blogs are actually from me, Craig. The only times I recall being on here is when Rebecca needed help learning how to post photos. :)

Before anybody reads any further: Everything IS going to be fine. God has a perfect plan which includes perfect timing for bringing the boys home, we just can't see it yet... Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry."

This afternoon we received an e-mail from USCIS (US Immigration), an e-mail that we've been waiting for, for weeks. Judah was submitted to USCIS for his Visa on November 20th. Since then we've been anxiously optimistic about getting his "orphan status" from the US and looking forward to Elijah's birth certificate getting straightened out so that he too could be submitted to USCIS. The e-mail we received today was not what we were expecting two days before Christmas. The heading of the letter read "Notice of intent to deny." WHAT?!?!?

The letter goes on to explain that because of two inaccuracies in paperwork and interviews, the US plans to deny Judah from coming home as an orphan, unless the paperwork can be straightened out within 30 days. The first issue the letter raised is that the birth father stated in an interview with USCIS that the birth mother passed away in January of 2011. Thinking through this, that was 9 months before the twins were born. I can see where the USCIS investigator might question that. In reality she passed away in January of 2012, when the twins were 3 months old. The problem is that the embassy never received her death certificate like we were led to believe they had. Unfortunate. The second issue is that there is supposedly a signature of consent to give up rights for the boys from their birth father, and birth mother in February of 2012. Again, that's a problem since she passed away the month before. I can see why the letter from the US says that our request is invalid, and questionable, but it stings A LOT.

After reading the letter my immediate reaction was confusion (they're denying us?), then depression (this sucks!), then fury (I wanted to lay down in a grocery store isle and kick and scream and throw a tantrum) and finally a calm sigh. I had a Facebook post written up and ready to post that was basically "woe is me." Then as I drove home contemplating posting that, God calmed me and reset my reaction. Really?  What do I have to complain about? I have an amazing wife, amazing and healthy kids, awesome family and friends supporting us, a wonderful church family, a beautiful house, great jobs, etc, etc.  PLUS, this isn't about us and our emotions, the hardest part of this news is that our twins will be living in an orphanage, in a 4th world country without a family holding them for that much longer. How much longer?  I wish I knew.  James 1:2 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

So what's next? Again, I wish I knew. I forwarded the letter to our international agency, our local agency and to our national politicians. We'll see. Our agency quickly responded and said they would follow-up with our orphanage tomorrow and get back to us by Friday. As I stated above, we/they have 30 days to submit the correct/appropriate paperwork to fix this or Judah will be denied orphan status.

What we really want to do is hold our boys! We first met them in June of 2012 when they were 8 months old; then Rebecca and I returned in March of 2013 to see them when they were 18 months old. Since then we've been waiting to go back and visit them so that we could save that extra trip's money and vacation time for bringing them home and bonding as a family of 7. Now, depending on the delay this causes it might be time for an unexpected trip south! Which would make coming home without them again that much more difficult.

The most important thing we can ask for from each of you is to pray for the boys, pray for us and pray for all of this to get straightened out quickly. Pray for our developing patience and for Rebecca's anxiousness about all of this. At times this afternoon she was having a hard time breathing as we worked through the news, but she's good now. :)

I am completely, 100% confident that God "has this" and that His will is what will be best.

Thank you for your love and prayers!

Trying to wait patiently,
Craig

Keep on Praying....

I sat down tonight to clean up a few emails and went to delete all of the spam documents and happened to see our new adoption counselor's name in the list just before hitting delete! I quickly entered the message and about flipped out. I saw the letters USCIS and my eyes immediately filled with tears...

Unfortunately it is only fantastic news for one of our twins. Here is the message:

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Hi Rebecca and Craig,

I wanted to let you know that Maison has informed me that Elysées (Judah's) file is being dropped off at USCIS today!  They had all of his documents, and they were being delivered as this morning.

As for Elie (Elijah), his birth certificate was never registered, so Maison is having to go through some additional steps to get that fixed.  This is not unusual in the case of twins with similar names, it is just very unfortunate.  However, Maison doesn't expect there to be a long delay, and the problem has been being worked on for some time now.  (9 weeks)

As soon as Elie's file is complete, Maison will take it to USCIS as well.  I will certainly keep you up-to-date as we learn more!

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So, not exactly what we were hoping for, but at least the staff is aware of the situation and actively working on it and one of our precious sons is about 6-7 weeks away from his Visa! Today my heart felt so heavy...tears so close. Such frustration in the midst of hope. A truly strange feeling. Difficult but such a blessed feeling. I am certain we are right where God wants us right now.

I listened to a message on AM radio last week and the speaker said that right when you feel like you are about to give up or break...you are on the edge of something beautiful! God is creating a beautiful story in our lives, and who am I to question the timing of each moment.? I trust the Lord to put the pieces together perfectly, and we are more than willing to be His servants. I can't wait to love these boys for Him.

I hope that none of the words that I share on this blog ever deter people questioning whether adoption is in their future from moving forward with the process. This situation is difficult, challenging, stretching, heartbreaking and beautiful beyond words. Let me say that again...beautiful beyond words. I can't even begin to grasp the way that this adoption and Haiti in general have touched our souls and the future of our family. May God use us to create something beautiful, much bigger than we are alone and more than I ever could have ever dreamed.

Please continue to pray. We are on the edge. I can just feel it! I can almost feel my babies in my arms...

Filled with hope,
Rebecca

Join Us In Prayer...

It is with an optimistic heart that I write this blog tonight. It has been yet another week with no news for us. About two weeks ago now, we received an email informing us that there was another new international adoption counselor on the Haiti cases. This is our fourth counselor in the course of our adoption! Seems a bit excessive to me, but we are trying to be hopeful. The new lady's name is Sarah and apparently she speaks Creole and French and hopefully this will help to expedite our situation.

We received information on September 17th that we had received Judah's document, the adoption decree attestation which comes from the National Archives and essentially is a signature. This was wonderful news because this allows his paperwork to be submitted to USCIS for the Visa process to begin and usually this takes about 6-8 weeks. Unfortunately....Judah's paperwork came without Eli's and so we continue to wait, and wait, and wait... It has officially been almost 9 weeks more of waiting and still no attestation for Eli. (I am absolutely certain that people are praying for us because at this point, I am tempted to rip out my hair and scream...and yet somehow, I don't. Instead I sigh and buckle down for the ride.)

So...on the 8th of November, I decided to call Sarah and introduce myself since I hadn't heard from her yet. She picked up on the first call and was positive, appeared to be proactive and very sympathetic. My first impression of her has been a very good one. She was disappointed that we are waiting with one document left to be signed to complete the Haitian process. She said, "That is unacceptable." She then stated that she would get in touch with the orphanage and call me "next week" with an update. Well, I was going to be patient and then decided to be proactive. I called her on Thursday with no answer, left a message and then didn't hear anything on Friday either. Sigh.

So we continue to wait, and pray, and wait, and pray, and wait some more. This process has been a true test in patience. I feel like we are still doing well...despite the setbacks. This does not mean that there aren't moments where tears flow and frustrations rise, but we aren't letting those moments consume us. We are doing our best to work through them. We still remain hopeful that Sarah will be the one to move this adoption to the finish line.

Please pray for our continued patience, for our emotions to be processed in a healthy manner and for the boys to stay healthy. Please pray that the roadblocks would be removed and the paperwork and process would no longer be STUCK. Please pray that in God's timing we will be snuggling two sweet cherubs and covering them with kisses as we tuck them into bed in their new room. He is an amazing God and we are certain that He hears these prayers and will honor them!

In the meantime, we continue to spend treasured moments with Aftyn, Haley and Aiden. We have been breaking out the board games now that the temperature has begun to drop. We have been snuggling through movies and working as a team to ready the house for the twins' arrival. I broke out the toddler toys so they are within reach and this weekend decided to paint another wall in their room red because it accents their world map perfectly! I thought the nesting was done....but the longer they wait to come home...the more I do! I have a dresser and closet filled with 2T clothing and spent some time this weekend just peeking through the items and day-dreaming. I can just imagine them in their footy jammies scampering about. Maybe, God-willing, there will be a fantastic gift for us at Christmas...

Thank you so much for your faithful prayers!

Longing,
Rebecca

Daydreaming Through the Details...

There have been almost three years of daydreaming that has led up to this point. I am finally sitting down to the computer to share some of the thoughts that have been brewing in my brain. We have thought at length about the life that the twins currently experience on a day to day basis. They live their lives in a small room with fourteen kiddos and two nannies. They leave this room for some of their meals and then return to this room. They rarely, if ever leave the orphanage grounds which has been their life day in and day out since they were 3 months old.

The transition to our American culture will be quite a shock. When they come home to our family it will be an incredible adventure! They will experience their first flights on an airplane, a night in a hotel, riding in a car seat for the first time and many strange places. The smells, sounds, climate and language will all be different. And of course… they still won’t understand why they are with us. They will probably be wondering when they will be going back home to the orphanage.

After our arrival home, it will take them time to realize that they belong with us now, that this is their new home, and we are their new caregivers (parents). If we have many visitors (just like the orphanage), how will they know whom to trust? If we take them on a lot of outings (church, grocery store, school events), not only might they be overwhelmed, but how will they know exactly where home is? Of course, many of these things they will figure out eventually (and in the process most likely grieve the loss of all that is familiar), but our goal is to allow them to figure out these details quickly… so they can feel safe with us, grow and learn.

When Elijah and Judah first arrive home, we will stay home with them as much as possible (this is called cocooning in the adoption world). We want them to feel comfortable here as their new home, and with us as their new family. This bonding is crucial, and we want the twins to feel loved and connected to us. I will be taking 8 weeks off from work and Craig will be taking 4 weeks off to spend time bonding with the boys. We will then determine if more time is necessary for bonding.

During the first weeks after returning home with the boys, we are going to be watching the twins closely to see how they are handling all of the changes in their environment. Craig and I naturally are very social people and fully know that there is a good chance that we might need to sacrifice our social nature for building this crucial connection. We will need to watch these cues to determine when we feel it is appropriate for us to take the twins to church, grocery shopping, errands, or any other public place where they could be touched, prodded or become completely over-stimulated.

Adoption professionals recommend that a child be cocooned (or intense therapeutic parenting time) for 1 month for every year that child was not with you. That puts Judah and Elijah at about 8 weeks of “therapy” IF they come home this fall at 2 years old.

During our time at home together, we will cuddle...listen to music, cuddle some more. Play little games, learn to speak each other’s language…cuddle. Tickle, massage, read books and play in the hot tub. More cuddles. Eat, try to make lots of eye contact and cuddle some more.  Hopefully play in our back yard a lot, eventually go for walks or to the park. Get them used to our dog, and (hopefully) figure out how to help them sleep well. We will hold them, bathe them and give unending hugs and kisses. We will be the ones getting them food and drinks at all times. Craig, Aftyn, Haley, Aiden and I will be the ones providing all of their needs.

We will be cautious at first with visitors...we will need to begin with close family only and then we will gradually progress to a larger circle of friends when we feel the twins are ready for that. Believe me when I say that when we come home with the boys, I will want to show off their handsome faces to all of the people that have been praying us though...but we have a responsibility to do this right...and we only get one shot at this. Please, please do not be offended when we tell you that we can't let you hold the twins for the first few weeks when they get home.

The twins missed out on developmental stages that they would have naturally had if they would have been in our family from day one. We need to be the ones to hold them, change them, feed them and comfort them for a very long time. It is almost like reversing the clock so we can give them all of the nurturing and love that they missed. The twins are used to being independent and this might be a tough transition for them. They will be learning how to be a part of our family.

I have to say that it is fun to be daydreaming through the details of this transition. We are in the final stages of the process, and we want the transition home to be everything that God would like it to be. We continue to wait for one piece of paper...the adoption decree attestation for Elijah...then we will be submitted to get the boys' Visas. Please continue to pray for patience as we experience delays in the process and for God's perfect timing. We feel a peace about the adoption on most days, but as the timeline grows, there are definitely difficult moments in the midst of the peace.

Daydreaming and nesting,
Rebecca

It's Official!!!!

Praise God Friday the thirteenth did not bring bad luck for this family!!! Not only did my knee begin to feel better, but we were gifted with a couple adorable pictures of the twins' passports! Nothing has moved further than in my last update, but there is something about seeing the actual scanned copies of the passports that makes it all seem so much more real! We couldn't be happier that we have finally finished this lengthy step in the process.

So...drum rolll, please.....

It is with a huge grin on our faces that we let you all know that we are in the home stretch now. We will pass it on when we receive the final document that allows us to be submitted to USCIS for the immigration and Visa portion of the adoption. Should be 6-8 weeks more at that time! 

In the meantime, we will be continuing to nest at the DeWit household. I've power-washed the play set and am prepared to have it all beautifully stained before the twins come to play on it!!! We have a few things to hang up in their room...and some specifics on the plan for after they arrive home to figure out...and then we are set! Craig finished filling out the last two adoption documents that we needed to passport information to complete and all we can do now is wait! We will be sure to keep you in the loop when we hear something.

Continue to pray for healing for my knee and Craig's wrist. We are both feeling better over the last week and are anxious to nestle into our home with two little ones added to the mix! Also pray for continued patience in the remaining portion of the process and for the transition once they arrive home. All five of us are about to burst at the seams!

We love you all!

Rebecca

We've Got Passports!!!

This wonderful news arrived on August 20, 2013!!! I have been a bit neglectful. I waited to write on my blog because I was waiting for the photos to arrive. Now it has been well over a week and still no photos...so I think that I should put an update together despite the lack of an adorable photo of each boy to accompany the news.

So....after 17 long weeks in the Passport phase of the process, I received a call from Kristy to notify us that a representative from the orphanage had picked up the passports last Tuesday and was on the way back to the orphanage. We have been requesting photos of the passports as we need to have some of the information from the passports to finish up some of our adoption paperwork. It just always feels a bit obscure when there isn't a photo to go with the information. 

It will be interesting to see how long it takes now to be submitted to the USCIS. This is the United States division at the Embassy that processes the Visas for the boys. We are still hopeful that the twins will make it home before their birthday (October 5)...but the longer it takes to get this information...the more I begin to doubt that we will make it in time.

The last few weeks have been a time of sorrow waiting for our paperwork to be UNSTUCK, a time of pure joy hearing that the passports have been issued and a time of excitement and preparation for the twins to come home. We are working on several small projects around the house...toddler proofing various areas and finding homes for items that haven't found a place since the move to the new house. I have prepared the twins' room, and we are ready for our family to grow larger. We have clothes in the closet, the beds are made and the walls are decorated!!! The nesting is complete.

I am also spending many late night hours reading through old blogs and transforming the messages into pages in the twins' Life Books. I have enjoyed piecing together their story and look forward to the day that I will be able to share their books with them.

We will be sure to attach photos of the boys from their passports as soon as we get them! We will also pass on any updates that we receive. We are still tired of the wait, but we feel the end is in sight and somehow the waiting is a bit more bearable.

Thank you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement...I have a feeling that the prayers are what's lifting us up!!!

Not much longer,

Rebecca

A Longing Heart

It has been a tearful day and I wrote this letter to share with the boys someday and thought it might give some insight into where my heart is right now as I am becoming weary of this long wait. We continue to pray for the twins' passports to be issued. We know that God's timing is perfect and on some level, I have complete faith in that timing...yet on a purely emotional level...my heart which hasn't been whole since I parted with the boys in Haiti is hurting more than I would like to admit. Today I was visiting with a stranger on the phone and completely broke down into sobs. I am quite certain that when she asked me a payroll question for work, she didn't expect to hear an emotionally unglued waiting adoptive mom on the other end of the phone! That was just one of the five times I found myself sobbing today. Hopefully this won't become a trend, but as raw as I am feeling emotionally...you might all want to brace yourselves for my response if you inquire about the adoption. Have your Kleenex ready.

We were told that the reason for the delay in this step was due to a question regarding Judah's birth certificate. We were not told about the specific reason. We were also told that we could expect to have the passports issued either last week or this week. Well, no news so far. Tomorrow is Friday...and I suppose that might have prompted the tears. The director of the orphanage is in the states right now and because of that, we are not likely going to be hearing anything this week. So we wait and continue to pray. Please pray for peace and comfort. Pray that the boys might make it home before their second birthday on October 5th! It might break my heart completely if we miss that milestone together! Thank you so much for your faithfulness in prayer. We love you all and treasure you more than you will ever know!

________________________________________________________________________

Elijah and Judah-                     

                       

This has been a difficult day, and I suppose that is why it is a perfect day for writing a love letter to my precious twins. We are currently in the passport phase of the process and are waiting for the documents to be issued. It is supposed to take 2-4 weeks and we are on week 15 and continuing to wait! Oh my sweet boys. My heart completely aches for you today. I don’t understand sometimes why this process is taking so long, but I am thankful that in the end we will be together.

As we have moved through the adoption process, my emotions have been all over the place. I have been moved to tears of joy through excitement over seeing the pictures of your sweet faces at referral. I have had difficulty swallowing by the lump in my throat as I have pondered the difficult choice of your birth mom and dad to place you into the adoption process. I wept openly when I received news that your birth mother had died just fifteen days after parting with you. I have laughed out loud as I have seen your personalities shine through in the photos that we have received from your orphanage. I have wondered with excitement and slight apprehension what the future will bring and how much each of you will want to be involved with your birth family and your homeland. I have celebrated as our paperwork has moved forward in the process and struggled with concern over whether I will be able to juggle being a wife, raising five kids and holding down my job simultaneously. I have felt my heart swell so big I am certain it was spilling outside of me as we traveled as a family to the front steps of the orphanage and held you both for the first time. I peacefully breathed in each of your scents as I held you and cared for you in Haiti. I smiled in joy as I saw my family united for the first time and saw the beauty of a creation only God could have made. I felt my heart tear and break as a portion of it was left behind with the two of you in Haiti. Yes, my emotions have been tumultuous and rightfully so.

We have since traveled back to see you again and the moments we had together at the orphanage were beyond words. I will treasure those moments together forever. All of these emotions continue to cycle through me as the process continues. One day I am filled with joy and anticipation; the next weeping with longing for you. Logic says that we will be together soon and the sea will no longer separate us. We have no concept of when our family will be complete, but I am filled with a love for you that will not allow anything to stand in the way of this future.

I promise to love you with all of my heart, to tend to your needs and to kiss your scraped knees. Your hungry tummy will be filled with food made with love and there is a sweet room waiting just for you! I promise that I will pray with you at night and continue to pray for you and your future even after you are sleeping. I long to be with you and to help you learn how to love Jesus and be a strong man like your daddy. I will give you endless hugs and tender snuggles just when you need them. You have my heart and I love you, my precious boys!

A longing heart,

Mom