Haiti Journal — June 10-16, 2012

It is Wednesday, June 13th, 110 degrees with the heat index, and I am sitting down to journal the thoughts and experiences that we have had so far on our journey to meet the boys. (After day one…the rest of the journal entry was written on the flight home. Too many wonderful moments to soak up while we were in Haiti to make time to journal.) There is already so much to share, and I don’t know where to even start? The last few days have truly been a whirlwind. We left home at 6:15 am on Sunday June 10th for the airport. Jill Peterson drove us there, and we were filled with excitement. We had a 7:30 am flight. We spent much of the day in and out of the air. We had a short layover in Chicago and then landed in Miami, Florida about 2:30 pm eastern time. It took a while to gather our luggage and head out for the hotel. We were tired and decided to have a pizza night with a movie. We walked to Pizza Hut (an adventure in itself in Miami…the lady at the desk said it was three blocks away…turned out it was “three blocks” away…which really meant a mile!) and watched Spy Kid 3-D Game Over. It was then time for bed because the next morning was another early flight.

We left for the airport at 4:45 am on June 11 for a 6:50 am flight to Port-au-Prince, Haiti. We were still very sleepy but totally excited. We had four large suitcases and two carry-on bags to juggle and the kids did a fantastic job helping out. Aiden was a champ manning the two small bags and the girls were in charge of their own large bag. We only got stuck in the elevators about three or four times! Not too bad considering. We would have been able to travel with one big bag and two carry-ons if we didn’t pack supplies for Elijah and Judah. We also had several donations to bring for the orphanage.

It was quite the process filling out the travel documents on the airplane to enter Haiti as our three kiddos handed Sprite and juice and electronics back and forth across the aisle to me. Thankfully the only mishaps were one spilled Sprite and one birthdate mistake on the entry paperwork. We were ready!

A month ago when we found out that we would be meeting the boys for the first time on June 11th, it struck me immediately that we were going to be meeting them on my mom’s birthday. This was so special to me. It felt as though she was watching over us through the entire day. What a blessing.

As we flew over Haiti, it was familiar to Craig and me, but it was an experience watching the kids as they began to see the degree of poverty the Haitian people are living in. Aftyn thought that the shape of the country was “cool”…but it didn’t take long for them to realize that the make-shift huts they were seeing from the air and later alongside the road were actual homes. They said it made them feel sad for the people.

We were met at the airport in Haiti by Angie, who runs the orphanage, and Erin, who is our adoption representative from our international adoption agency. It was wonderful to put faces with the names and voices that we had become so familiar with over the last year. There were ten families traveling to visit their children and six of them were from our agency. Many of them had children with them which was a blessing because we knew that our children would have fun together. We loaded all of the traveling people and luggage into two vans and one tap-tap and headed for the hotel.

When we got to the hotel, Angie informed us that they had had some changes at the orphanage medically in the last week and she needed to talk with us about it. She shared that there were several cases of chicken pox at the orphanage and that they actually had to create a separate room just to isolate these children. She also shared with us that one of the little girls in the infant room had been brought to the hospital the day before and after completing several tests was diagnosed with viral meningitis. I swear that my heart almost stopped. I have worked with people with that diagnosis and know how serious that can be. Knowing that she had been in the same room as the boys was enough to cause me some alarm. I prayed on the spot and knew that all I could do was trust. After the discussion, we had just enough time to check in, bring our luggage into the apartment and then head out to the tap-tap to go pick up the boys from the orphanage.

I will never get used to the driving in this country. It literally feels like an accident could happen at every turn….but it never happens. There are very few rules of the road and people pass at any time, even when cars are in the oncoming lane. I am not sure how, but there must be someway the drivers know who will stop and who won’t. Intuition, I guess. We arrived safely at the orphanage and the lump began to form in my throat almost immediately. All of the families gathered on the front porch waiting to be presented with their children. We were told that we needed to be patient with the process…but were so blessed because we did not need to be patient for long. Eli and Jude were the first children presented to their family! Angie came out with the boys together…one on each hip. Tears were immediately in Craig’s and my eyes. It was the same type of feeling I had when I was walking down the aisle to meet Craig and after the births of each of our biological children. It was surreal…almost like being in a fog of emotion. Many of the other families were snapping pictures of us and I can’t wait to see them. The emotion was so raw.

My initial thoughts were excitement over how small they still are. We knew of them when they were just three months old, and I was a bit saddened over how many months had gone by before we could meet them. I wanted to see them when they were tiny….well….they were still small and oh, so sweet! Craig says that he just immediately thought, “There are our boys!” Angie handed Elijah to Craig and Judah to me. We recognized them immediately. They were beautiful and snuggled into our shoulders right away. We took several pictures with the boys, and then Judah fell asleep in my arms shortly after.

We only stayed at the orphanage for about a half hour as each family was presented with their children and then walked around to tour. It was so much fun to see two of the families presented with children that had been on the waiting child list. I had accessed this list daily while we were waiting for referral and had been praying for each of the children. There was one girl and a set of boy triplets. What a blessing to see their forever families come together for the first time.

The orphanage was just like it looked on the videos online and in the documentary. When we walked into the infant room, there were two women bowed in prayer and two women feeding and holding babies. Several babies were sleeping in their cribs and a few in bouncy chairs. All of the children looked content and the love for the children was immediately evident. This was a huge blessing to me. I have been praying for their care to be wonderful. It will help the time between visits knowing that they are well cared for.

We gathered up everyone and headed back to the hotel with all of our little ones. We went to our apartment and spent some time getting acquainted. Honestly, it was a bit of a rough evening because we were all tired from traveling and doing our best to adjust. Haley and Aiden had some trouble with the Haitian food choices for dinner and this caused a little drama….but eventually everyone had something in their tummy, and we were ready for an early evening to bed.

It was easy getting Aftyn, Haley and Aiden all tucked in and they fell asleep almost immediately. Aiden requested to sleep with one of the little boys while he fell asleep. Judah and Aiden were so sweet wrapped together in sleep’s embrace. Craig and I transferred him to our bed so we could go to sleep. We don’t have any cribs or pack-n-plays, so we decided to sleep together in the queen size bed with the two boys between us.  This was not the wisest decision. Each time someone moved or snored (Judah was a bit stuffy) all of us woke up.

We were also able to experience what it is like when parenting twins and having them on opposite schedules. I am not sure that we were able to sleep for more than 15 minutes at a time. I guess you could say that we made the most of our time on the first day with the boys. Craig and I alternated each night which boy we were caring for so we could have some special one-on-one time with each of them.

We woke on the 12th heavy-lidded and filled with excitement and anxiety over the day’s activities. My stomach was immediately upset, and I decided to start my antibiotic medication. I am not sure if it was the water, the anxiety or just the extreme fatigue but I knew that I would never survive our US Embassy appointment without some sort of medication. We left for the orphanage at 7:00 am to bring Elijah and Judah there so we could head to the Embassy. The nannies were busy praying in the infant room when we arrived. It was touching to see that they start their day there in the Word of God.

We had an appointment at 8:00 am, and we were the only family going to the Embassy that day. We were able to have Erin accompany us which was a blessing as she helped explain each step of the process. There was a line when we arrived there, and we had four different security checks to go through. We had to leave all electronic devices and liquids at the door. The method of keeping track of our items (expensive camera, water bottles, jump drive, baby bottles, etc.) was a little more than primitive. It was a very warm day and by the time that we were sitting down waiting for our names to be called, we were exhausted. We were able to find chairs eventually and spent close to three hours waiting. We were able to present our documents to the U.S. Embassy and had a little more anxiety when we discovered that a few things were missing from our required list. We were supposed to have a photo of each of the boys provided by the orphanage, the G-28 form which gives power of attorney to Pierre Alexis (director of the orphanage) and the twins’ birth mom’s death certificate which still has not been received. There was a pit in my stomach when this was happening, but we were quickly reassured that the forms could be turned in at a later date. Hopefully this will not delay things at all.

I have to say that I have never been more proud of my children than I was during this lengthy waiting time. The kids were so patient and stayed quiet and polite during the wait. We were all thankful when the wait was over, and we were able to go re-claim our items at security and load back into the van with Jackson (our driver) and Vanessa (our security officer).

On the way back to the orphanage, we asked to stop to pick up some bread and peanut butter. The peanut butter we had brought along had to be thrown away at the first security check in Miami’s airport on the way to Haiti. Craig went into the Haitian grocery store and asked for peanut butter and was led to  Tobasco sauce instead. The manager had to come help translate for him and brought him to the butter. Finally Craig found the peanut butter and 9 American dollars later, we had Skippy Super Chunk peanut butter and a loaf of white bread.

We headed back to the orphanage to get the boys. The nannies had taken care of the boys beautifully. Their clothes were changed, they were fed, and they were busy being snuggled by the nannies. It was fun talking to the nannies in our broken Creole/English. The love that they feel for the boys was clear in their eyes. This was exactly what I had been praying to see, and it was such a blessing to my heart.

When we arrived back at the hotel, I was completely exhausted, lightheaded and queasy. I think that Craig could tell that I had used up the last reserves of energy. Eli had fallen asleep on the way home and Craig suggested that I lay down with him. I burst into tears and couldn’t control the emotions that were coursing through me. The extreme heat and humidity made it difficult to sleep, but I was able to rest and this was such a blessing. When I woke up, the apartment was quiet. I peeked into the kids’ room and all three kids were napping on their beds. I went downstairs and Craig was holding a sleeping Judah. He is quiet obviously a rock-star!!! What an amazing husband. I felt refreshed. I sent Craig up to take a nap with Judah, but Judah decided it was time to wake up. I spent the next hour entertaining the twins while the rest of the family slept. It was so much fun to play with them and enjoy snuggles with each of them. It was evident that the boys were already getting attached to us. Every time I stepped out of Eli’s view, he would cry out and come crawling at top speed. When he would get to me, he would pull up on my legs to a standing position and start to try to crawl up my legs. What a sweet boy.

I got the boys changed, sun screened and into their swimming trunks. Then as each of the other kids woke, I did the same for them. Shortly after, Craig came down (with a splitting headache) ready to swim. A lengthy nap, two Tylenol and some refreshing pool water later and the exhaustion began to subside. We played in the pool for quite some time, went back to the room to freshen up and went to the restaurant for dinner. We had rice and beans again for dinner because it was so wonderful the first night. The kids tried the pizza and liked it much more than the spaghetti they tried the first night. Later that night, we noticed that while taking his bottle, Judah was scratching in his hair line quite a bit. We began to suspect that he might be developing the dreaded chicken pox! It didn’t change his sweet snuggles or beautiful temperament though.

The next morning we were able to start the day with breakfast at the hotel. We tried the pancakes and they were wonderful. We had been looking forward to this day because it was the first day that we just got to enjoy being a family. We spent time swimming and playing with the kids all day. It was so much fun being able to watch the twins in all of their moods and providing their every need. The kids were such wonderful helpers. It was fantastic seeing Aftyn, Haley and Aiden bond with the boys and help out with them when we needed it. The twins barely had a chance to cry!!

We met a group later in the day while we were sitting at the pool, and they had an infectious disease doctor with them. He was able to take a quick look at the boys and diagnosed Judah with chicken pox and Elijah with a boil on his forehead. He provided us with Zithromax for Elijah and told us that we didn’t really have anything to worry about…but that Eli would likely end up with the chicken pox as well. Craig and I had both had it already and the kids had each been vaccinated already…so we didn’t have to worry. The mosquitos came out early that evening and we ate quickly and headed back to our apartment to keep from getting bit and possibly getting malaria. It was another sweet evening with the five little ones. Our new, larger family was beginning to feel normal after spending a full day together without the stress of an Embassy appointment. We headed to bed early because we had another appointment the next morning.

We woke up early on the morning of the 14th so we could eat breakfast before going to the orphanage to drop the twins off. One of the first things we noticed was that Eli had a bump on his forehead and we were pretty certain that he was just starting a case of the chicken pox. We didn’t have time to fret over this though because we had an early court appointment along with two other couples and had to leave. One of the other families had offered to watch Aftyn, Haley and Aiden for us and allow them to play with their kids at the hotel while we had our court appointment. The kids really wanted to stay and play, and we knew that this appointment would be relatively short so decided that was fine.

It was a long bumpy drive to the “court house.” Before we arrived, the other families and Pierre Alexis (orphanage director) explained to us that the court house was not like one that we would find in America. It was good that this had been explained because it was strange to push through the crowd of people outside the door as a prisoner in cuffs was forced through the doors as well. We barely entered the building door and there was a person sitting with a spiral bound notebook. She flipped through the pages until she found one that had our boys’ names on the top. Craig and I each signed our names on the lined paper…and that was it! This was the proof that we had traveled to the country to see the boys. Not very official…no dates, proof of identification, or anything. It was shocking. Also shocking was watching the prisoner that had been pushed through the court doors hauling around rebar as part of his punishment. The men in the van took several photos of this.

We then stopped by the orphanage to pick up all of the kiddos. We headed back to the hotel to spend the evening together as a family. We ate lunch together by the pool and played in the water a bit more. I really don’t know what we would have done without the pool.

We also took a moment to sneak outside of the hotel gate to look through some of the souvenirs for sale outside of the hotel walls. We were able to find a beautiful wooden globe and a handmade drum. We also picked up bracelets with a Haitian bead on them for the boys. Later that night, the girls and I were able to go out by the pool to look through the Rubble Wear, and we each found a necklace. They are beautiful and were made from pieces of rubble from after the earthquake. Each one is unique and a piece of art in itself…but even more importantly, they are made by the nannies at the orphanage and the money earned from it helps to restore the homes and lives of these Haitian people.

That night was bittersweet. We knew that we were preparing for the last night with the boys and our hearts were already beginning to break. We snuck in extra kisses and snuggles whenever possible and soaked up every moment.

We tucked in all of the kids and were about to head to bed when I decided to go get some lotion.  Craig was standing in the doorway of the bathroom looking like he had a secret. When I asked him what he was doing, he didn’t answer me. I was a bit nervous and afraid that something was wrong….soon after I learned that he had gone into the bathroom to get ready for bed when he noticed a LARGE cockroach on my toiletry bag. We developed a plan and my hero used his sandal to bat at the cockroach flipping it into the tub where he proceeded to pummel it to death. I would say “poor cockroach” but I am really not sorry. Especially after the next morning when I headed to the bathroom and the cockroach was still in the toilet! It took three flushes to get him to go down he was so big!!! (We promptly made a plan not to bring our bags inside the house when we arrived home until they were thoroughly searched and all of the clothing washed!!)

Amazingly we slept well…fully enjoying the night time feedings with our precious sons.

The morning of the 15th came far too early…with the roosters calling and dogs barking. Eli and I woke up and decided to let the others sleep. We got up and wished the other families goodbye as most of them were heading to the airport at 7:00am. Lots of hugs and shared email addresses and the van pulled away with the other adoptive families inside. I snuggled into Eli and began to cry. I couldn’t believe that the time was already coming to an end. I couldn’t even imagine going back to normal life after this journey.

When I returned to the apartment, Craig and the others had woken up. We decided to head to breakfast and planned to have a lazy day by the pool. It was wonderful watching the kids play in the water together. Our family truly felt complete. There were only three families left at this point, and we were all families that had traveled to meet our children for the first time. It was wonderful talking to each other and encouraging each other.

The day went by much too quickly. I went through all of the supplies in the room to determine what we were going to give to the orphanage and what we were going to donate to one of the other families. They decided to have the wife stay in Port-au-Prince for an additional month to teach at the orphanage and spend time with their sons.

We brought the boys back to the orphanage at 3:30pm and it was truly one of the most painful experiences that I have had. Other than the loss of my mom, I don’t think that I have experienced this type of pain before. It was made even more heartbreaking because I had to watch Craig, Aftyn, Haley and Aiden all experience this same pain as well. We were all unusually quiet on the drive to the orphanage. I held Judah and the girls held Eli on the drive. Getting out of the vehicle, I took both boys in my arms. Heavy hearted and with a golf ball-sized lump in my throat, I stepped up onto the porch of the orphanage.

One of the nannies asked me if she could help me with one of the boys. Through the lump in my throat, I could barely squeak out “Not yet.” Tears began to flow quickly down my cheeks and despite the attempts to slow them or to stop the sobs that shook me, I could not. She nodded and the look in her eyes showed me that she understood. Craig and the other kids gathered around and Craig took Judah from me. Eli had fallen asleep and was all snuggled into my chest. We walked back to the baby room and the nannies watched sweetly as we said our goodbyes. Aftyn, Haley and Aiden were watching us closely as they wrestled with their own emotions but none of them had cried yet. Craig and I had tears streaming down our cheeks as we kissed both of the boys. I tucked Eli into his crib and kissed him one last time. I stole a kiss from Judah and Craig placed him in his crib…but a nanny picked him back up. Somehow this eased the pain a little. We then began the tearful walk to the van to head back to the hotel.

The ride home was painful. It is so hard to fall so madly in love in such a brief time frame and then to have to set those powerful feelings aside as we wait for the paperwork and process to catch up with the emotions. It is impossible to set the feelings aside. I am quite aware that these emotions are going to sneak up often in daily life and remind us of the love that exists for two beautiful boys in a sweet baby room in a modest orphanage in Port-au-Prince. We only pray that the time will go quickly between now and our next visit…and then the time that we are able to bring them home to their forever family.

We got back to our apartment and we all fell apart. Aftyn raced upstairs upset and Craig followed her. They shared their tears and worked though their pain. I sat on the couch with Aiden and Haley. They were both tearful and frustrated that we couldn’t bring the boys home with us. My heart was heavy with the same pain. We cried our way through several squares of toilet paper and then decided that we should channel ourselves into a game of UNO to help transition out of the pain.

We played a couple games of UNO (Aiden very sweetly wanted me to win—my eyes must have been the reddest—and I did win the first game!) We then put on our swimming suits to rest at the pool. I floated on the mattress and the kids did stunts at Craig’s request. They loved it! We also had the opportunity to visit with several people that we had met at the hotel including a woman that volunteered at Maison, the orphanage, early that evening. She said that the boys were doing well, but that she could tell that they had been held for a few days. I am sure that it is a process getting them back into their routine as well.

We ate dinner down by the pool and had our last helping of red beans and rice. It was wonderful and the kids enjoyed their chicken strips and fries as well. We were emotionally drained and decided to tuck in the kids pretty early. We got them settled in and began an evening of packing. It was hard to crawl into bed without a little boy beside me to tend to in the night. I snuggled up next to Craig instead.

We woke up at 6:00 am so we could finish the last minute packing and grab some breakfast before heading off to the airport. It was a beautiful morning and while we were enjoying our freshly squeezed orange juice, French toast and pancakes, Angie snuck up to the restaurant to visit a little and then say goodbye. The van arrived and we headed off for our 9:00 am flight to Ft. Lauderdale.

Everything went smoothly and we were surprised to find that we were loaded into first class seating for the trip to Ft. Lauderdale and then from Ft. Lauderdale to Dallas. After experiencing the poverty of Haiti and struggling with eating due to upset tummies, this was quite a transition back to the American lifestyle. It was nice to be pampered, but we were only able to eat a tiny bit of the food. Thankfully, I was able to store some of it away in my purse to snack on later. You know me, I hate wasting!

When we were in the Ft. Lauderdale airport, I did some catching up on Facebook and posted a status that said, “Broken hearted, but so hopeful. Can’t wait until the checkbook says that we can travel back to Haiti to hold our beautiful boys.” Literally about an hour later, we were waiting in the Ft. Lauderdale airport and they offered a $300 deal to take a bump on Aftyn and my flights. God is so amazing! It is awesome to watch the blessings come when we are in His will. Now we have $600 to help with the next flights to see the boys! We were able to make our connecting flight in Dallas with Craig, Haley and Aiden to Sioux Falls, and it was nice to have the bonding time with Aftyn on the flight to Dallas.

When we landed in Sioux Falls, reality began to hit pretty hard that “real life” was still moving forward even though we had left a piece of our hearts in Haiti with the twins. Jaron, Heather and their girls met us at the airport with a welcome home sign and my heart broke immediately. It is hard to feel home when the heart is divided between two countries. The transition to life as we knew it went pretty smoothly. We attended church the next morning and spent a little time with family for Father’s Day. We were also able to sneak in a refreshing nap before beginning an evening of laundry.

We are still behind in our rest as I write this portion of the journal four days after arriving home. Our hearts are still broken, missing our boys in Haiti. We returned to work and have been trying to catch up on the laundry and household things. We continue to prepare to sell our home and the ground has been broken on the new home we are building. I am thankful that we have many decisions to make and responsibilities as we face this lengthy wait to be reunited with our boys. I only pray that it will make the time go faster.

“Dear God in heaven, please be with our family as we journey down this path of adoption. I thank you for the blessed time that we shared with the twins in Haiti last week. I thank you for the reassurance that you provided that they are receiving incredible care there. I pray that you keep them safe from the diseases and illness that are so prevalent in a third world country. I pray that you would place your healing hand on our hearts as we wait to be reunited. I pray that if it be your will, that you would speed up the process so all of the families worthy of adoption will be united forever with their children. I thank you for giving Craig, me and our biological children the strength and bravery to face the difficulty of leaving the boys at the orphanage. I pray that you come along side of us through this entire process and to go ahead of us to smooth the process in ways that only You can. We love you with our whole hearts and put our faith in You fully. Amen.”

Broken-hearted but filled with joy,

Rebecca

June 2012 trip to Haiti to meet the twins photos!

We will be typing up our journal of our trip to meet the boys shortly, but in the mean time I wanted to share a link to our photos from our trip.  You do not need to have a Facebook account or be FB friends with us to view the pictures.  Enjoy!

Meeting the twins photo album

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4073094903271.2170725.1159374022&type=3&l=daf5faa257

Over the Moon in June!!!

I am happy to share that late last week we made the decision to take our entire family with us when we travel to Haiti to meet the boys for the first time. We prayed about it and it didn't take long for us to realize that this was the most logical and obvious choice. We really want our Aftyn, Haley and Aiden to deepen their hearts for Haiti and there is really no better way than to travel there and see what it is all about. It will be amazing to see what impacts them the most and how it affects them after we return home to the States.

We will be flying to Miami on June 10th and then will fly on to Port-au-Prince early the morning of June 11th (my mom's birthday) and we will be able to meet the boys that day! We will actually be packing clothes and supplies from home and taking them with us for the boys as well. It will be as if we are their only caregivers while we are there. I think that this will allow for some wonderful bonding time. I am sure that when we are back we will have many stories to share!

The kids found out last Thursday that we are going to take them along and their excitement was priceless! I think that we made the right decision. We have had many decisions to make recently...we have all of the decisions surrounding the adoption and then on top of that, we decided to build a new home on a one acre lot to give the little ones a little more room to explore...not to mention more than a closet for me to do laundry for a family of seven!! It will be interesting to see how it all comes together. I just can't wait for the day that we can bring the twins home to stay!

I am already heartbroken thinking about spending those precious days with them in June only to walk away from them and fly what feels like an eternity from them. I pray that the days will go quickly and that the sorrow won't be too deep. I pray that the care that they are receiving will be wonderful and perfectly evident to us while we are there so we have no worries over their care when we return home to Sioux Falls. Please join me in prayer over these items. Also, continue to pray for the health of the boys. We haven't received any new updates, but know that it is always best to be bathed in prayer!

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I have been reading a wonderful book called "Kisses From Katie." I highly recommend it. It is beautifully written and touches the heart a little bit more with each page. It is an auto-biography about a girl named Katie from Tennessee that decided to do a mission trip to Uganda her senior year of high school. She then decided to go for a year and ended up adopting fourteen little girls over the next several years in Uganda. It is an amazing account of a girl being called by the Lord to do His work and her challenges and many blessings through the process. I am only about halfway through the book but was very moved by a passage she wrote about adoption. I would like to share it here:

"I knew that one of God's purposes in placing me here was to grow in me, through my children, this heart for adoption. In an effort to be real, I will tell you: It was hard. Being a mother of six at age nineteen was just plain exhausting sometimes. But God continued to show me that adoption is His heart, and it was becoming mine.

Adoption is wonderful and beautiful and the greatest blessing I have ever experienced. Adoption is also difficult and painful. Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. It is the Gospel in my living room. And sometimes, it's just hard.

As a parent, it's hard not to know when your daughter took her first steps or what her first word was or what she looked like in kindergarten. It's hard not to know where she slept and whose shoulder she cried on and what the scar on her eyebrow is from. It's hard to know that for ten years yours was not the shoulder she cried on and you were not the mommy she hugged.

As a child, it's hard to remember your biological parent's death, no matter how much you love your new mom. It's hard to have your mom be a different color than you because inevitably people are going to ask why. It's hard that your mom wasn't there for all the times you had no dinner and all the times you were sick and all the times you needed help with your homework. It's hard when you have to make up your birthday. It's hard when you can't understand the concept of being a family forever yet, because your first family wasn't forever.

Adoption is a redemptive response to tragedy that happens in this broken world. And every single day, it is worth it, because adoption is God's heart. His Word says, 'In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will' (Ephesians 1:5). He sets the lonely in families. The first word that appears when I look up adoption in the dictionary is 'acceptance.' God accepts me even, just as I am. And He wan'ts me to accept those without families into my own. Adoption is the reason I can come before God's throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will--to the praise of His glorious grace.

My family, adopting these children, it is not optional. It is not my good deed for the day; it is not what I am doing to 'help out these poor kids.' I adopt because God commands me to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress. I adopt because Jesus says that to whom much has been given, much will be demanded and because whoever finds his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for His sake will find it.

God was showing me His heart and His Word in new ways right there in the life I was living though the children I was serving. Armed with this new sense of who He is and who I was as His servant, I continued to try to give myself away in every circumstance. I wanted to do God's work, let Him display Himself through my life, and change my world as much as possible every single day. Most days, that didn't include anything other people would find impressive. It simply meant being faithful to the people and the responsibilities God had given me."

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There was another section of the book that broke my heart for the orphans throughout the world that continue to wait for a family to love and be loved by. As we have moved through this process, several people have mentioned to Craig and I that they had thought about adopting a child at one time or another, but there was always a reason that stopped them from moving forward. A reason why they had not followed that leading. Some said it was too expensive, they were getting too old, they already had 2, 3 or 4 children, or that they would be overwhelmed or too anxious. Well...I have to say that all of these reasons came into our minds at one time or another during the process of considering adoption. I really believe that those thoughts were the devil trying to convince us to pass up this opportunity. Pass on doing the will of the Lord. I know that adoption is not for everyone. I don't believe for one minute that the Lord is calling every Christian to adopt a child or children. What I do believe is that He calls some of us and that even though we are all ill-equipped to step into this role, He will equip us with the finances, energy, love, space and patience during the process. I fully believe that I do not have these qualities in abundant supply on all days. In fact, I believe that I might be one of the least likely to fit the mold for a model mother...but I know that our Lord uses the least of these to accomplish amazing things. If He could do it with a shepherd, a virgin, a tax collector, and a small boy, I know that He can do it through anxious, weary, stressed out and broken me. I can't wait to watch as His glory shines through our family as we venture into this new territory! May He receive ALL OF THE GLORY!!

Another heart-wrenching excerpt from the "Kisses From Katie" book:

"The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children. And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians.

The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.

This is the Truth. I have the freedom to believe it. The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it. The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible."

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Today we received some additional wonderful news in regards to our adoption. We knew that the government in Haiti had put a temporary freeze on new dossiers coming into the government from April 30th until June 1st. They wanted to process the ones that are currently in their possession. We did not know whether our dossier had already been in the hands of the government in Haiti or not. We knew it was overseas, but not where it was located exactly. We found out today that our dossier was submitted to the Haiti government on Friday, April 27th.  The last day before the temporary freeze! Hooray! We know that this won't really speed the process up, but it should keep it from slowing down! Praise God!

We will continue to keep you all informed as we receive updates! The boys are now seven months and we should be getting some new photos and updates soon! Thank you for continuing to pray! We can tell that we have some prayer warriors on our side and we are so thankful for you!

Bursting with excitement!
Rebecca

We Have Been Invited to Visit!!!

We are happy to announce that we received a phone call last week to let us know that we are invited to come spend our first moments with our twin boys! We are invited to be in Haiti from June 11-15th. It is a relatively short trip, but we are looking forward to soaking up every moment.

We will be flying out of Sioux Falls some time on the 10th and heading to either Miami or Ft. Lauderdale. We will then jump on a plane and head to Port-au-Prince early the morning of the 11th. We are busily trying to make sure that we have all of the immunizations that we need and are beginning to discuss whether to bring Aftyn, Haley and Aiden along on this first trip. I spoke with Erin today and found out that we could bring them along this time if we could work that out. Most of the time will be spent at the hotel with the twins and it would be wonderful bonding time all together. It would also give the kids a chance to see why it is that we are making this choice and for them to have a taste of the twins' culture.

We hope that we will have confirmed our plans in the next day or two so we can get the rest of the pieces lined up. Please pray for clarity in this decision and for wisdom in our planning.

The most recent update that we received on the twins shared the following:


The boys are well.  Boy A was sick last week into this week, but seems to be doing better right now.  Boy 1 is MOVING everywhere!  They are both eating well, and growing.  I don't think there are any teeth yet...but I should check.


We can't wait until we can check on these things on our own. I have a feeling that we will take 5,000 pictures just to capture as many moments as we can. I am really looking forward to spending time as a family!

Thank you for your prayers,
Rebecca

April 2012 Update

We are going to be receiving monthly updates on the boys to give us an idea of how they are doing and to get the updates on their growth and development! (Not to mention the adorable photos that accompany the updates!) Before I go into the updates, though, I think it is important to mention how precious it has been to be able to share our boys with our families and friends! We are so thankful for them and the future that we will have together, and it is such a joy to share that with everyone!

The message we received yesterday was brief but sweet. It said (and I apologize for not being able to share their names at this point):

Little Boy #1-Spent some time recovering from diarrhea, but that didn't stop his sweet smile. He didn't gain weight this month, but he's become more active.

Little Boy #A(Craig won't let me label him #2 because he needs to be at the top of his list too)- Continues to move all over the room using his sweet commando crawl. He's working to push himself up on all 4's to continue the movement. He grew a lot this last month, and you can see it in his cheeks.

There were 6 photos included of the boys and 4 of them were of the two boys side by side in their high chairs. It is amazing how quickly they change! They are obviously fraternal twin,s and we are also amazed by how each is his own little man! I can't wait to learn their personalities.

It looks as though Craig and I might be included on the June trip to the orphanage. The May trip is almost full, and we haven't received an invite yet. The June trip is a bit shorter which is a bummer...but the blessing is that it is only two weeks after the May trip so we won't have to wait too much longer! Please pray that we will receive our invite so we can begin our planning.

The excitement is almost unbearable!!! I can't wait to snuggle my two littlest boys!!!!! Until that time, I am soaking up the snuggles with my three biggest angels!! It will be hard to be away from them when the time comes...but I am sure that they won't even miss us because they will be slumber partying at their cousins' house!!!

We will continue to bring you updates as we receive them. The process is sort of at a stand still and much of our "adoption time" is spent figuring out the remaining finances and figuring out our family's plan as we are going to be filling up our house before we know it!!! God has blessed us beyond belief with this beautiful family of SEVEN!!!!  :) What an amazing dilemma!

Abounding with Blessings,
Rebecca

It's a YES!

After very little deliberation, but bathed in prayer, Rebecca and I accepted the referral of "our twin boys" today!

I sent the e-mail to Erin at CAN this morning and it still makes me teary-eyed to think of them... all day. We're both SO excited to get the invitation from the orphanage to travel and meet them in Haiti for the first time. We're hopeful that we'll be invited to travel in May or June to see their precious faces in person. Our referral acceptance today, and that first trip down there, will set the Haiti Government's paperwork in motion for the long home stretch. As mentioned in our last update the average wait time from today until we bring them home is 10-12 months. This sounds like a long time and many people get frustrated with that answer and ask, "but why?" My answer is always, if the US were adopting kids out to other countries and going through the legal rig-a-ma-roll it would take us 10-12 years to adopt kids out. So for a 3rd world country that still deals with a lot of paper, instead of computer files and e-mails, that's not so bad. Plus we knew the time frame going into this whole process and we're right on track so we're ok with it.  If God wants us to bring them home sooner, He'll make it happen. Which I pray he does... :)

So, that's it!  We're still learning from our agency and from the orphanage how much we can share about the boys; names, photos, etc so as soon as we're cleared to do so, we'll share; trust me!

Thanks for all of your prayers!

Excitedly,
Craig

Referral!!!

Woo-Hoo!!!  IT IS TIME!!! We received our referral for the beautiful twin boys at 2:45 this afternoon! Erin from the adoption agency tried to call me, but I missed her call and tried to call her back. When I couldn't reach her, I left a message and immediately called Craig to let him know that she had tried to call. I was hoping that it might mean that the referral was coming.Craig answered, and I could hear him talking to Erin in the background on his land line at work!! I listened to their call and quickly realized that the time we had been praying so diligently about had finally come! The referral was happening!

We received the email with all of the medical and social history on the boys shortly after the call, and we have been able to print it out and look through the information...but unfortunately most of the information is in French and my primitive French abilities are not panning out fully. We have sent this paperwork off to be translated and then we will be able to figure out some more of the details. We also plan to have our paperwork looked over by a medical professional to be sure that everything is clear about the decision we are making. So far the specifics that I can figure out by looking at the paperwork look like both of the little boys are healthy! Praise God!

We were also able to gather some of the information about the birth parents and the situation surrounding the adoption. The boys were born on October 5, 2011. On January 10th, 2012, the boys were brought into the orphanage by their birth mom and dad. They stated that the reason that they were giving up their rights for the child was due to their birth mom being sick. We were saddened to find out that 15 days after she dropped her twin boys off at the orphanage, she passed away. What a remarkable birth mom. She was providing a future for her boys even in spite of her failing health.

Craig and I were thinking about this and discovered that we were notified of the twins about 8 days prior to her passing. During that time, I was praying frequently for her because of the painful decision she had made. I never dreamed that she would be going through so much during that time. I will be forever grateful for her thoughtful decision to make sure the boys were safe and provided for.

We are very excited about the steps to come in the adoption...and aren't positive about the length of time that the rest of the adoption will require, but Erin says that on average, the current adoptions out of Haiti have been taking about 12 months from the time of referral acceptance. So we are still bracing ourselves for the rest of the journey...but we are excited to meet the twins and keep that time moving along. We are going to be making our decision whether to accept the referral in the next two weeks and will be sure to notify everyone when that acceptance takes place.

I have to share that over the last week I have struggled a bit more with patience during all of the waiting! There were two days where I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with the slow pace of the process. I was reading a book called "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver and was really touched by the section of the book where it discusses never putting a period where God puts a comma or a comma where God puts a period. I felt that I could really apply that to where I was emotionally with the adoption. I was able to remind myself that God had placed a comma in the process. What was supposed to take 2 weeks, had taken close to 10 weeks...and God never places a comma when it isn't the best thing for His plan! I needed to accept the comma and embrace God's timing...I needed to trust His schedule as much as I trust His character.

"Faith is about how you live your life in the meantime, how you make decisions when you don't know for sure what is next. What you do with yourself between the last time you heard from God and the next time you hear from God is the ongoing challenge of a life of faith."                                                     --CeCe Winans

It was amazing. I felt the peace that only comes from the Lord rest on me....and now....when I was able to believe and obey...He released His plan!

Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we move further in the adoption process. It has been a pleasure to share this information! We are so excited!

Rejoicing in His plan!
Rebecca