Daydreaming Through the Details...

There have been almost three years of daydreaming that has led up to this point. I am finally sitting down to the computer to share some of the thoughts that have been brewing in my brain. We have thought at length about the life that the twins currently experience on a day to day basis. They live their lives in a small room with fourteen kiddos and two nannies. They leave this room for some of their meals and then return to this room. They rarely, if ever leave the orphanage grounds which has been their life day in and day out since they were 3 months old.

The transition to our American culture will be quite a shock. When they come home to our family it will be an incredible adventure! They will experience their first flights on an airplane, a night in a hotel, riding in a car seat for the first time and many strange places. The smells, sounds, climate and language will all be different. And of course… they still won’t understand why they are with us. They will probably be wondering when they will be going back home to the orphanage.

After our arrival home, it will take them time to realize that they belong with us now, that this is their new home, and we are their new caregivers (parents). If we have many visitors (just like the orphanage), how will they know whom to trust? If we take them on a lot of outings (church, grocery store, school events), not only might they be overwhelmed, but how will they know exactly where home is? Of course, many of these things they will figure out eventually (and in the process most likely grieve the loss of all that is familiar), but our goal is to allow them to figure out these details quickly… so they can feel safe with us, grow and learn.

When Elijah and Judah first arrive home, we will stay home with them as much as possible (this is called cocooning in the adoption world). We want them to feel comfortable here as their new home, and with us as their new family. This bonding is crucial, and we want the twins to feel loved and connected to us. I will be taking 8 weeks off from work and Craig will be taking 4 weeks off to spend time bonding with the boys. We will then determine if more time is necessary for bonding.

During the first weeks after returning home with the boys, we are going to be watching the twins closely to see how they are handling all of the changes in their environment. Craig and I naturally are very social people and fully know that there is a good chance that we might need to sacrifice our social nature for building this crucial connection. We will need to watch these cues to determine when we feel it is appropriate for us to take the twins to church, grocery shopping, errands, or any other public place where they could be touched, prodded or become completely over-stimulated.

Adoption professionals recommend that a child be cocooned (or intense therapeutic parenting time) for 1 month for every year that child was not with you. That puts Judah and Elijah at about 8 weeks of “therapy” IF they come home this fall at 2 years old.

During our time at home together, we will cuddle...listen to music, cuddle some more. Play little games, learn to speak each other’s language…cuddle. Tickle, massage, read books and play in the hot tub. More cuddles. Eat, try to make lots of eye contact and cuddle some more.  Hopefully play in our back yard a lot, eventually go for walks or to the park. Get them used to our dog, and (hopefully) figure out how to help them sleep well. We will hold them, bathe them and give unending hugs and kisses. We will be the ones getting them food and drinks at all times. Craig, Aftyn, Haley, Aiden and I will be the ones providing all of their needs.

We will be cautious at first with visitors...we will need to begin with close family only and then we will gradually progress to a larger circle of friends when we feel the twins are ready for that. Believe me when I say that when we come home with the boys, I will want to show off their handsome faces to all of the people that have been praying us though...but we have a responsibility to do this right...and we only get one shot at this. Please, please do not be offended when we tell you that we can't let you hold the twins for the first few weeks when they get home.

The twins missed out on developmental stages that they would have naturally had if they would have been in our family from day one. We need to be the ones to hold them, change them, feed them and comfort them for a very long time. It is almost like reversing the clock so we can give them all of the nurturing and love that they missed. The twins are used to being independent and this might be a tough transition for them. They will be learning how to be a part of our family.

I have to say that it is fun to be daydreaming through the details of this transition. We are in the final stages of the process, and we want the transition home to be everything that God would like it to be. We continue to wait for one piece of paper...the adoption decree attestation for Elijah...then we will be submitted to get the boys' Visas. Please continue to pray for patience as we experience delays in the process and for God's perfect timing. We feel a peace about the adoption on most days, but as the timeline grows, there are definitely difficult moments in the midst of the peace.

Daydreaming and nesting,
Rebecca

It's Official!!!!

Praise God Friday the thirteenth did not bring bad luck for this family!!! Not only did my knee begin to feel better, but we were gifted with a couple adorable pictures of the twins' passports! Nothing has moved further than in my last update, but there is something about seeing the actual scanned copies of the passports that makes it all seem so much more real! We couldn't be happier that we have finally finished this lengthy step in the process.

So...drum rolll, please.....

It is with a huge grin on our faces that we let you all know that we are in the home stretch now. We will pass it on when we receive the final document that allows us to be submitted to USCIS for the immigration and Visa portion of the adoption. Should be 6-8 weeks more at that time! 

In the meantime, we will be continuing to nest at the DeWit household. I've power-washed the play set and am prepared to have it all beautifully stained before the twins come to play on it!!! We have a few things to hang up in their room...and some specifics on the plan for after they arrive home to figure out...and then we are set! Craig finished filling out the last two adoption documents that we needed to passport information to complete and all we can do now is wait! We will be sure to keep you in the loop when we hear something.

Continue to pray for healing for my knee and Craig's wrist. We are both feeling better over the last week and are anxious to nestle into our home with two little ones added to the mix! Also pray for continued patience in the remaining portion of the process and for the transition once they arrive home. All five of us are about to burst at the seams!

We love you all!

Rebecca

We've Got Passports!!!

This wonderful news arrived on August 20, 2013!!! I have been a bit neglectful. I waited to write on my blog because I was waiting for the photos to arrive. Now it has been well over a week and still no photos...so I think that I should put an update together despite the lack of an adorable photo of each boy to accompany the news.

So....after 17 long weeks in the Passport phase of the process, I received a call from Kristy to notify us that a representative from the orphanage had picked up the passports last Tuesday and was on the way back to the orphanage. We have been requesting photos of the passports as we need to have some of the information from the passports to finish up some of our adoption paperwork. It just always feels a bit obscure when there isn't a photo to go with the information. 

It will be interesting to see how long it takes now to be submitted to the USCIS. This is the United States division at the Embassy that processes the Visas for the boys. We are still hopeful that the twins will make it home before their birthday (October 5)...but the longer it takes to get this information...the more I begin to doubt that we will make it in time.

The last few weeks have been a time of sorrow waiting for our paperwork to be UNSTUCK, a time of pure joy hearing that the passports have been issued and a time of excitement and preparation for the twins to come home. We are working on several small projects around the house...toddler proofing various areas and finding homes for items that haven't found a place since the move to the new house. I have prepared the twins' room, and we are ready for our family to grow larger. We have clothes in the closet, the beds are made and the walls are decorated!!! The nesting is complete.

I am also spending many late night hours reading through old blogs and transforming the messages into pages in the twins' Life Books. I have enjoyed piecing together their story and look forward to the day that I will be able to share their books with them.

We will be sure to attach photos of the boys from their passports as soon as we get them! We will also pass on any updates that we receive. We are still tired of the wait, but we feel the end is in sight and somehow the waiting is a bit more bearable.

Thank you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement...I have a feeling that the prayers are what's lifting us up!!!

Not much longer,

Rebecca

A Longing Heart

It has been a tearful day and I wrote this letter to share with the boys someday and thought it might give some insight into where my heart is right now as I am becoming weary of this long wait. We continue to pray for the twins' passports to be issued. We know that God's timing is perfect and on some level, I have complete faith in that timing...yet on a purely emotional level...my heart which hasn't been whole since I parted with the boys in Haiti is hurting more than I would like to admit. Today I was visiting with a stranger on the phone and completely broke down into sobs. I am quite certain that when she asked me a payroll question for work, she didn't expect to hear an emotionally unglued waiting adoptive mom on the other end of the phone! That was just one of the five times I found myself sobbing today. Hopefully this won't become a trend, but as raw as I am feeling emotionally...you might all want to brace yourselves for my response if you inquire about the adoption. Have your Kleenex ready.

We were told that the reason for the delay in this step was due to a question regarding Judah's birth certificate. We were not told about the specific reason. We were also told that we could expect to have the passports issued either last week or this week. Well, no news so far. Tomorrow is Friday...and I suppose that might have prompted the tears. The director of the orphanage is in the states right now and because of that, we are not likely going to be hearing anything this week. So we wait and continue to pray. Please pray for peace and comfort. Pray that the boys might make it home before their second birthday on October 5th! It might break my heart completely if we miss that milestone together! Thank you so much for your faithfulness in prayer. We love you all and treasure you more than you will ever know!

________________________________________________________________________

Elijah and Judah-                     

                       

This has been a difficult day, and I suppose that is why it is a perfect day for writing a love letter to my precious twins. We are currently in the passport phase of the process and are waiting for the documents to be issued. It is supposed to take 2-4 weeks and we are on week 15 and continuing to wait! Oh my sweet boys. My heart completely aches for you today. I don’t understand sometimes why this process is taking so long, but I am thankful that in the end we will be together.

As we have moved through the adoption process, my emotions have been all over the place. I have been moved to tears of joy through excitement over seeing the pictures of your sweet faces at referral. I have had difficulty swallowing by the lump in my throat as I have pondered the difficult choice of your birth mom and dad to place you into the adoption process. I wept openly when I received news that your birth mother had died just fifteen days after parting with you. I have laughed out loud as I have seen your personalities shine through in the photos that we have received from your orphanage. I have wondered with excitement and slight apprehension what the future will bring and how much each of you will want to be involved with your birth family and your homeland. I have celebrated as our paperwork has moved forward in the process and struggled with concern over whether I will be able to juggle being a wife, raising five kids and holding down my job simultaneously. I have felt my heart swell so big I am certain it was spilling outside of me as we traveled as a family to the front steps of the orphanage and held you both for the first time. I peacefully breathed in each of your scents as I held you and cared for you in Haiti. I smiled in joy as I saw my family united for the first time and saw the beauty of a creation only God could have made. I felt my heart tear and break as a portion of it was left behind with the two of you in Haiti. Yes, my emotions have been tumultuous and rightfully so.

We have since traveled back to see you again and the moments we had together at the orphanage were beyond words. I will treasure those moments together forever. All of these emotions continue to cycle through me as the process continues. One day I am filled with joy and anticipation; the next weeping with longing for you. Logic says that we will be together soon and the sea will no longer separate us. We have no concept of when our family will be complete, but I am filled with a love for you that will not allow anything to stand in the way of this future.

I promise to love you with all of my heart, to tend to your needs and to kiss your scraped knees. Your hungry tummy will be filled with food made with love and there is a sweet room waiting just for you! I promise that I will pray with you at night and continue to pray for you and your future even after you are sleeping. I long to be with you and to help you learn how to love Jesus and be a strong man like your daddy. I will give you endless hugs and tender snuggles just when you need them. You have my heart and I love you, my precious boys!

A longing heart,

Mom

Content in God's Timing

Elijah on the right, Judah in the center

We have been so blessed over the last thirty months as we have moved through this adoption process. We have been following the "planned" (expected/previous family's) timelines fairly close and able to move forward with other families going through the same process. There have been little hic-cups here and there, but nothing has been able to shake our confidence. We have been resting in God's timing and have been mostly content through the process of waiting.

I have to admit, however, for this waiting mama, it is getting considerably more difficult the closer we are getting to the end. A few months ago, we clarified the timelines with our agency and other families and it looked like there was a strong possibility that the twins would be coming home this summer! What a huge blessing. We thought that the warm temperatures would be perfect for their transition and that the time at home with our other three would be a fantastic opportunity for some serious bonding to take place.  We talked about the travels that we would make in the later summer...heading out to see family and friends and to share the two new additions to our family. We were filled with excitement and anticipation.

Then the mishaps began...I tore my ACL and lateral meniscus in my left knee while playing at a trampoline park with my kids and underwent surgical repair on May 14th. Healing and therapy began immediately. I found myself filled with patience as I knew there was no way that I would be able to keep up with two charming and energy-filled twin boys. My knee is now allowing me to get around more easily, I am back to work and things are returning to normal. Then in late June, Craig set off for the North Dakota Badlands for some rugged mountain biking with a group of guys and came home with a sprained left wrist. We make quite a pair with my hinged leg brace and his wrist splint. Then last night we were at a local pool enjoying the warm summer night and our 9-year-old daughter, Haley, whacked her head on the wall and two staples later is in one piece. Maybe we should wrap our family in bubble wrap and hole up in the house for a couple of weeks and then the boys will miraculously have their paperwork come together. I suppose that is doubtful.

We entered the passport process on Friday, April 26th. This portion of the process usually takes roughly 2 weeks. July has now begun and we continue to wait for our passports to be issued. That is a total of 10 weeks. We have spoken to our international adoption counselor and there is nothing missing in our paperwork and no reason that they haven't been issued. Yet we continue to wait, as we watch others that were in the same stage of the process move forward. It is a bittersweet portion of the process. 

Elijah rockin' the pink polk-a-dot onesie!

We are passionate about wanting all orphans to be a part of a forever family and it is emotionally moving to know that kids are coming home and united for forever, but it never fails to bring on the tears for me. There is simply an empty ache in my own heart because I know that life is just not yet complete. So I wipe my tears, swallow down the lump in my throat and smile because another lonely child is nestled in his/her family's loving arms.

Craig just said, "I wonder what God is trying to teach us here?" Part of me thinks that the longer we wait and the greater the longing in our hearts gets, the more passionate we will be about loving them with our whole hearts. It will make their homecoming just that much more spectacular. 

Once we get their passports, we will have a 4-6 week (if all goes perfectly) process of waiting for the USCIS-Department of Homeland Security to grant them their Visas. We have been in contact with Senator John Thune and Representative Kristi Noem so they can lobby to get this portion of the process finished up as soon as possible. They are very encouraging and are adoption supporters. The USCIS will also give us I-600 approval which allows us to bring an orphan into the country with an intent to adopt.

The medical approval is the next step, and this is where they will check the twins to see if they have any medical issues that will prevent them from entering the U.S. If they find something, they will be treated for it, but their transition will be delayed. Then the boys will receive their exit letter and we will be invited to bring the boys home!

Elijah on the right, Judah in the center

There is still a possibility that the boys will make it home in late August or September if the process begins to move again and stays on track. It is hard to wait, but every good thing is worth the wait.

So please join us as we continue to pray for the pieces of this puzzle to come together and the beautiful image of a family joined in Christ's love to be displayed. Pray for patience and contentment in God's timing and  for all of the families moving through this process to be given the strength to wait.

Praise God for stretching us through this experience even though it is sometimes painful! May your will be done!

Seeking His blessings,
Rebecca

Adorable Pics of the Boys!!

The last two weeks have been quite difficult. Playing with my kiddos on March 30th, I tore my ACL and underwent reconstruction on May 14th. It has been a rough road with medication issues (allergies and missing prescriptions), nauseousness,low blood pressure, inability to eat and overall weakness. On one of the toughest days, we received several photos of the boys, and I was reminded of how faithful God is.

Ever since the picture of the boys arrived in our email account back in March of 2012, we have been longing for the boys to come home. It is natural for a mother and father to long for this. However, if the boys were home already, I wouldn't have a prayer of keeping up with them on this damaged, but now healing knee. It would be more difficult to rest and heal properly. I continue to long to be with them, but I see the wisdom in God's perfect timing. I am now working hard to regain my function in my knee. It is quite a painful process, but the desire to have our family of seven all together motivates me to work hard despite the pain.

Here are the pictures of the boys that I received on one of the most difficult days. Enjoy!!! The boys' paperwork continues to be in the passport phase of the process. We are anticipating that their passports will be issued sometime soon, however, the department has been shut down for some construction for the last several weeks....so another delay. Praise God, the boys look happy and healthy in these photos. I just can't believe how quickly they are growing!

Please continue to pray for God's timing in this process and for the healing of my left knee. I have a feeling that they will come home when my knee is better. God is like that! Thank you for your love and support!

Thankful,
Rebecca

In the Home Stretch!

I am really happy to announce that we received a phone call this afternoon letting us know that the boys' information was submitted to the passport phase of the process. We are truly in the home stretch now! The remaining steps of the process involve working out the details of allowing them to leave Haiti and enter the US!!! 

This portion of the process varies in length, but lately it has been running roughly one month. Then our paperwork will be submitted to USCIS which is the US government department that processes the Visa and does the medical evaluation and Visa appointment just prior to the boys coming home. The Visa portion of the process takes any where between 10 days and 3-4 weeks.

This means that we will likely be traveling to get the boys at the soonest in late June or sometime shortly after that barring any unforeseen roadblocks. We are hoping for a summer transition for them so it won't be such a temperature shock. Plus it would be nice to spend part of the summer at home with all of the kids, adjusting to a family of seven all together! Maybe we could even squeeze in a Minnesota road trip with the whole family! That would be some pristine bonding time! 

Please continue to pray for us as we journey onward. I would be lying to say that there isn't any anxiousness surrounding this transition, but I must admit that it is no more or less than when we added each of the current DeWit kiddos into the family. It is a transition whenever the make-up of the family changes...and it will require some time to adjust. However, prayers will make that process much smoother, I have NO DOUBT!! 

Thank you so much for your faithfulness in following along on this adventure. We are all thrilled that the adoption is nearing its final stages!

Praise God for a smooth road so far!

Happy Dancing!

Rebecca