I have been thinking about writing on this topic for quite some time now...but was drowning in emotion and had difficulty thinking of how to word exactly what I wanted to say. Since our prayer session at church, I seem to be in a much healthier place emotionally and decided that there was no time like the present to share my thoughts...
Craig and I are nothing special. It is that plain and simple. So many people have made statements to Craig and me over the last few years about our adoption journey and how amazing we are...or how our strength is so great....or how incredible our faith must be...or how they could never go through all of this waiting and pain. Well, we are nothing special.
If you recall in the Bible, there are many Bible heroes that we are shocked to find never felt prepared to do what God was calling them to do, and they were afraid. God called to Moses, gave him a job to do and Moses remembered his past failures and felt inadequate for the task. Jonah, a prophet of God, literally fled the opposite direction of where God was calling him to go. God enabled a nobody named Gideon to win a battle even though he was hiding when the Lord's angel came to him. Of the four women in Jesus' lineage, one was a harlot, the second a Gentile, another an adulteress and the fourth another harlot. God can and will use anyone! He uses us in our weak state so that HE ALONE can be glorified. The point is that God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. We are nothing special, but we faithfully follow an amazing God who is anything but ordinary!!!
Ever since the beginning of this adoption journey...I have had times where I struggled with doubts and fears. Let me tell you...when we were in Haiti on our mission trips, God's voice and calling to adopt was so clear. However, when we returned home...it was almost like slipping back into a sort of spiritual slumber. It is so easy to fall back into lukewarm living. Our culture has so many ways to fill time with things that really don't matter for eternity...Facebook, television programs, music, sports, and even entertaining our families. These things are not bad in and of themselves...but when they consume so much of our time that we find ourselves lukewarm and doing nothing that is out of the ordinary for the Lord...we have lost our testimony!
When we committed to the adoption, we abandoned our lukewarm status and headed into uncharted territory. Like Gideon, in the beginning there were days that I wanted to hide myself away and was filled with fear over the decision that we had made. Believe me, any questions that our friends or family members shared with us, were questions that we had already wrestled with multiple times. "Is this really what the Lord is calling us to?" "Will our biological children adjust to the changes well?" "Will we be able to afford it?" "How will we ever help five children with college." "How will I handle juggling five kiddos and a job when I get anxious already with three?" "Will the boys have special needs that we won't be able to handle?" And so forth...
Over time, I have seen the faithfulness of our Lord! Oh, what a beautiful thing it is!!! I really do feel like the Lord has chosen a weak vessel...me. I can tell that through this experience He is doing an incredible work in me. I am nothing special in and of myself...but with His help...we are doing something amazing! I give Him all of the glory because on my own...I would not be on this journey.
"God has used the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty." 1 Corinthians 1:27
If you think that God can't or won't use you, think again. His glory shines the greatest through the weakest of vessels. If the Lord has put a tender heart toward adoption in you, it is likely because He has a plan to use you in one of the most remarkable ways...if you will let Him. That is the key. In our lukewarm society, it is so easy to rationalize why the decision to adopt simply does not make sense. It is too expensive, too time consuming, too emotionally taxing...
We are forgetting that adoption is so beautiful!!! It gives a lonely and broken child a home. It causes spiritual growth in the adopting family and their support system. It tests faith and allows an incredible love to bloom. It creates a connection between cultures and helps us to see our family grow beyond the borders of our own country. It allows the Lord to do a work in our lives that we would never be able to accomplish on our own.
"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?" says the Lord in Isaiah 43:19
We are nothing special...but the Lord is faithful! He has begun this work in us, and He will bring it to completion!
As I write this...I have not had a new update. Several families received updates today and all of them were good updates. Praise God for that. Many of us adoptive families have been really hurting lately and have been noticing more than ever the emptiness of our arms. Tonight I snuggled my three kiddos on the couch and knew that as wonderful as it was...a key part of the family was missing. We long for our families to be complete.
Please continue to pray for our family and other adoptive families.I really believe that your prayers make all of the difference in this spiritual battle. Without your prayers...I am sure that we would have had a much different journey.
Also remember in prayer tonight all of the people that the Lord has placed adoption on their hearts but for whatever reason...have decided against it or are questioning the calling. Help them to know that it doesn't matter if we have weaknesses, if we are still growing our faith, or if we think we are too weak to handle the waiting and pain of the process. All that matters is how BIG OUR GOD IS...and if HE can handle these things. I assure you, He is a very big God!
Thank you so much for your faithfulness!
The Weakest of Vessels,
4.2.14 - Added links of interest from Craig: (please talk to Rebecca or me if there is even a glimmer of questioning or interest in adoption before you let the world speak!)
What percentage of Christian's would need to adopt to care for all of the orphans of the world?